~John Mulvany, Class of 2024

“Nothing is more frightening
than a fear you cannot name.” ~Cornelia Funke

It was two weeks before my dreaded senior reflection, and I was super nervous. All I could think about at the time was me standing in front of the 400 people that would be staring at me. I knew that the only way to overcome my fear of this speech was to practice. So that is what I did. I asked Smitty and Fitz to help me practice each morning and get me ready for this speech. I wanted my speech to be one that everybody remembered. 

Read more: From Dread to Relief

Over my years at Fenn, other than death, public speaking was my biggest fear. Just thinking about this two and a half-minute speech made my heart pound and my hands sweaty. Fast forward to the morning of my speech. When I wake up, all I think about is my reflection. I don’t even pay attention in my first class; I am so nervous. 

My stomach feels like it is filled with rocks. I leave class early, and I meet with Smitty one last time before I get up in front of the entire school. I zone out the loud students filing in, and I try to stay focused and calm. The meeting starts, and Mr. Boonisar says my name, and I start walking up to the podium. I stay calm, but my hands are still sweaty, and I still feel my heavy stomach. 

As I am going through it, I focus on saying the words slowly so I don’t stutter. As I finish my reflection, I take the biggest sigh of relief I have ever taken. And I sit back down next to Smitty, and he pats me on the back. 

Now, when my other classmates do their senior reflections, I can understand the stress and the nerves they are going through.