~Alexander Luo, Class of 2024

“Relaxation is not a luxury, but a necessity for a healthy mind, body, and soul.”
~Susan Taylor

Today’s the day. Today, I can finally relax. Today, I’ll be at the end of the storyline I’ve been working on, running on, soaring on, and crying on. I’ll be at the finish line, with my hand slapping down on the big red button labeled “submitted” with a great sigh escaping my mouth and a clear look of ecstasy on my face. Today, I scream to the world, “I’m done!” 

Today, I finish my school applications.

Right now, I’m dancing along to Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson while writing this, vibing along with the music. My fingers can’t help but snap and my shoulders can’t help but jump up and down to the rhythm. My entire figure exudes excitement and joy.

I know that this isn’t the end of my entire journey—that would be sad. This isn’t even the end of the beginning. It’s just the end of the beginning of the beginning. I’ve got so much to look forward to in the future. So many plans I need to execute. So many people I have to meet. But, still, right now, I feel like I’m entitled to a little bit of leisure and a small sense of achievement. 

Yes! Yes! Yes! The idea of completion still grabs onto my thoughts and won’t let go. It’s a seductive idea, whispering into my ear about ease: of video games, of music, of fantasy books, and of laying on my bed all day, doing nothing but staring at the ceiling with my limbs splayed randomly and with my mouth in a small grin. I can’t do anything but stare into the idea’s eyes as it grabs my hands and leads me into relaxation.

But, now I’m left wondering, “What should I do now?” I’m finished with one of my biggest long term goals, and I don’t know what other goals I have. I need to make more and figure out what I want to spend my next few years doing. Should I start preparing for a huge research project? Should I prepare to further my education? Should I push deeper into gun control? I’m not sure. 

Despite how much joy has filled my head, I can still feel this sense of uncertainty in the back of my mind. I can’t shake it. If excitement’s like a lover pulling you on, the unknowing is like a ball and chain grabbing onto my ankles, never letting go. It pulls me back and makes sure that I can’t run into the future with no idea of what I’m doing. In that way it’s helping me. It makes sure that I get prepared for the vast potential the future holds, and stops me from being crushed by the weight of unpredictability. 

I know I need to resolve this issue—and it is a big issue. However, that’s a problem for the me of tomorrow. Today, I’ll just stick to being led around by Content with a smile. 

Today’s the day I relax.